Gold

It’s 1^st September and today I will wake up and put my brave on.  I will get dressed, I will walk my dog and I will drink coffee and I will wear gold.

I will take my daughter to meet her Grandmother and revel in the life that she breathes in to her bones and be grateful that she is on her way to a pool party with her brother, family and friends.  The clouds can gather, the rain can come and I will be grateful, just plain grateful.

I will meet my friend and we’ll talk and we’ll laugh and we’ll cry a little.   When that small girl, she’s not so small anymore, puts her hand in mine and it’s warm and my heart fills, I will think about how some days it still catches me unawares and can feel as raw as the day they told me she had a mass in her brain.    I will never tire of looking at her in this day. I will never stop thanking God for the marvel that she is.  Twinned with that, I will never stop feeling the pain of what she has endured.   How helpless a mother can feel, as she’s unable to take away the harrowing ordeal that her daughter has lived through in her short life. 

This summer we have lived large.  We have embraced life and we have laughed.   With hospital appointments looming for Jasmine, I choose to and fully believe her good health and recovery will continue.  I will believe for cure for her and for every child and parent that is faced with a cancer diagnosis.   I know what it is to walk that path, and keep on taking the next step.  The mascara Mondays come, and they come more often than I’d want.  But because she’s the bravest person I know, she inspires me to put my brave on and step out boldly in belief. 

I’ll wear gold this month, for my girl, for your girl, for your boy, for your brother, your sister, your son, your daughter, your grandson, your granddaughter, your nephew, your niece.  I’ll wear gold for the ones who earned their angel wings and I’ll honour their bravery and their lives. I’ll wear gold for the children in treatment this day, for the ones who were treated 5 years ago, and the ones who were treated 15 years ago.  And I’ll get my brave on and I’ll keep right on believing this day, this month, this year and every one that comes after.