Monday, 17 October 2011
When is enough, enough?
There's a sigh rolling from deep within today. It's the constant financial gymnastics, as I find myself in a season of monetary shortfall. The juggle as we try to pay all the bills and still put food on the table seems too big today, and I find myself thinking about money. But when is enough money, enough? I look round at the lifestyle choices we've made that have landed us in this zone of difficulty, when an unforeseen job loss meant that I became the main breadwinner overnight, and suddenly there isn't enough to go round. Enough - there is that word again. This has been a difficult period of time for us, but one in which God has shaped us, moulded us, and shown us that what we need isn't the same as our human greed. Today I think about whether we will continue to pay for the house, or lose our home, continue to buy food for the fridge, or go hungry this evening, buy new shoes for the children or wear summer crocs a while longer. But scripture is clear on this - we cannot serve God and money. I continue to pray for Him to strip away what isn't required and just to get my heart right with Him. He knows my needs before I ask, so really do I have any needs at all? There will be enough and it will be sufficient, just as He is sufficient and He is enough. I trust Him to help me walk this valley, I have faith to wait on Him, and finally I see that my oh so comfortable lifestyle is simply idolatry packaged very prettily to make me feel comfortable. Funny how uncomfortable I feel now, and all I long for is to simplify. Gratitude for the grace, and all is grace.