Gift

Today we're writing with Lisa-Jo over the The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday

Gift

How do I look at my daughter's newly diagnosed brain tumour as a gift?  How do I hear the word cancer and attach that to a 5 year old precious girl?  How is that a gift?

Quite simply, I'm coming to understand that God's gifts to us don't always come in a pretty box tied in ribbons, or in the shape or form we ask for.  But maybe it is all an answer to prayers as our whole experience is wrapped in God's love and His gifts.

It is a gift that the whole tumour was removed when the surgeon thought he would only be able to get two thirds of it.  It is a gift how we have been cared for through this whole experience by the staff at the hospital.  It is a gift the way my church family rallied behind us instantly when my blood family were on distant shores.  My daughter is recovering from brain surgery without any of the horrific side effects that the surgeon had said may come - she is walking, she is breathing without difficulties, swallowing without difficulties and she is not mute after this surgery.  I wondered if I would hear my little girl speak again and whether there would be any structure to her sentences, and she sings and plays and speaks every day.  Every day with her in our family is a gift from God, an extra day, a blessing that we didn't think we would have.

The journey now takes us out of our country to travel to Boston, Massachusetts as she needs specialist proton therapy that doesn't exist in Canada.  We  don't have the financial ability to do this.  It is a gift that proton therapy exists and that we minimize the risk of paralysis to her beautiful body by administering radiation this way.  God is so good!  He blesses us beyond anything we could imagine.

This community we live in, our friends, family, church, and even those we don't know are a gift to us from God as with superhuman efforts that only God can ordain have pulled together to help with our fundraising to get us there for the 2 months we'll be there, and help pay for medical costs there.  The speed at which everything fell in to place is a gift - even the hospital staff are marvelling at how quickly its all happening.  Praise God and glorify Him for the miracle unfolding for us.

The Lord gives me his peace, protection and reassurance.  He cares for me and my family.  His sacrifice for me and my sins and His love is the most immense and immeasurable GIFT of all.

Brave

Writing for 5 minutes unedited this week over at www.thegypsymama.com with Lisa-Jo.

This weeks word is Brave


I want to run.  I want to run and hide and not be where I am.  I am not brave.  I am not strong, and I am not courageous.  One week ago my darling daughter was lying in pain recovering from emergency surgery to remove a brain tumour that threatened her young, fragile and precious life.  "be brave" and "stay strong" and "you're doing really well" people said.  I am not brave and didn't know how to stay strong and I'm sure I wasn't doing really well.
My daughter is brave.  She is strong.  She has courage.  And she IS doing really well!
And we are home from our ordeal recovering from this surgery by God's good grace.
To be brave is to trust God.  It is to recognize his sovereign power.  It is to know that life is a gift and that it is fragile and can end at any moment.  To be brave is to be ready to release my child to Him and to know that really she belongs to Him and I was merely blessed to have her for however long He deems it.  To be brave is to feel His strength in my weakness, to trust Him with my life, with her life, to turn to Him and pray without ceasing.
My brave came waiting to feel his peace when wretched and empty was all there was.  But He comes.  He whispers to trust in Him, rest in Him, that she is precious to Him, that I am precious to Him, that we are his daughters, that He loves us.  Trust him, trust him, trust him and watch the miracle unfold.

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.... Isaiah 41.10

Jasmine is now home from hospital and recovering from surgery.  Her pathology showed the tumour to be Grade 3 malignant and a course of radiotherapy will begin in the near future.  As we turn to the Lord to ask for His grace, gift of faith and His strength, might we humbly ask you to pray for Jasmine and her complete healing and recovery through God's grace.  Thank you so much to all of you who left comments and encouraging scripture, words and prayers for us last week.  You really DO make a difference.  x

11 nHe will tend his flock like a shepherd;

ohe will gather the lambs in his arms;

phe will carry them in his bosom,

and gently lead those that are with young.   Isaiah 40.11

Empty

Joining Lisa-Jo for 5 minute Friday this week.  I'm sharing this from Children's Hospital in Vancouver BC.  God is gracious enough to allow me 5 minutes in a week of intensive care of my gorgeous daughter.

Empty

Empty was my heart on Sunday at midnight.  I was sitting in Children's Emergency Room with a daughter who went from skipping down the aisle at church on Sunday morning to being critically ill by midnight.  Empty was my heart that bled for the precious daughter diagnosed with a brain tumour.  Empty was my body of water as I cried a river.  How can this be?  How can a good God let this be?  Yet empty couldn't come soon enough for the brain surgery she needed.  I wanted an empty space where that tumour had taken place, alien to her body and need.

Empty soul and broken heart can be turned to something good, because God is good.  Empty became full as my mind filled with songs with words of comfort.  I kept hearing "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."  And strength did rise and when I couldn't my amazing family, friends, church sisters and brothers rose up for me.  I knew the Lord had my 5 year old girl and finally as she rested in ICU after 36 hours of gruelling empty,  He turns it to good and tells me to trust Him, rest in Him, that I am precious, that she is precious and watch the miracle unfold.  I am full - her tumour excised completely - head empty in the best way.

We still don't know if the tumour is benign or malignant but I am full and have peace.  My faith will rise as we wait upon the Lord, and may I humbly ask that you pray for my precious Jasmine Isabelle this day, my sisters in Christ. x